It was really kind of odd. I’d never been fired before, so I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel. I knew I could do the job, but something just wasn’t right and my heart really wasn’t in it. Nonetheless, it took me by surprise, because I wasn’t expecting it. After all, it was only 6 weeks and I hadn’t blown up the building.
I swore I’d burst into tears as soon as I made it to my car, but that didn’t happen. In fact, I didn’t feel like crying at all. I felt a little anxiety, because I was worried about paying the bills, and a little discombobulated, because I had no “Plan B.”
While tempted to try to diagnose what had gone wrong, I wouldn’t allow myself to go there. I thought about a few things I could’ve done differently, took note of the “lessons learned,” and deliberately decided to move on.
Then I had an epiphany: 5 minutes ago, I had a job (and a paycheck). Right now, I have neither–which means I can do WHATEVER I WANT. The world is wide open! All the things I’d said I’d do, “if only I didn’t have to work,” were suddenly possible, if I wanted them to be. Dreams I’d almost forgotten could be dusted off. Or, dare I come up with new ones? Hmmm… Now we’re talking! Wait… Do I even know how to dream–I mean REALLY dream–anymore???
The realization that I’d become mundane stung. I used to be much more of a risk taker. Note to self: Learn to dream again!
As I gassed up for the hour-plus ride home, I felt truly grateful for the chance to re-shape my life. Right then and there, I decided–no matter what–I wouldn’t look back.
Monday Morning Margarita 