Can you recall at least one time when you were feeling pretty good, and out of the blue, someone or something came along and zapped your mood? Instantly, your smiley face (or at least your content disposition) was gone, and you were no longer at peace. If it was really bad, you may have even gone to “that place,” where you start thinking about all the people who’ve ever done you wrong in life, and you actually have the one-sided arguments in your head where you’re spouting all the venomous things you’d wished you said at the time.
Well, that’s Negative Nellie, and you can’t afford to let her in! Recently, I’ve learned you can’t always see Nellie coming, so you have to be alert.
Picture this: You’re riding in your car on the way to work and you’re feeling just fine. In fact, let’s spice it up a bit by adding that your jam just got finished playing, so you’re feeling kind of good. Then, the deejay comes on and says something like, “It’s hump day y’all. I know you don’t wanna go to work, but Friday’s almost here! We’re gonna keep the music going, and help you get your day crack-a-lackin’.” And just like that, your mood changes. You weren’t at all concerned about going to work, and now first on your mind is “ughhh… I don’t want to go to work.”
The deejay wasn’t trying to rain on your parade. In fact, it may have never even crossed his/her mind that such a comment could even remotely bring forth negativity–but it can and DOES. See how sneaky Nellie is?
What to do, what to do?
1) Pay attention to things that negatively affect your disposition–large or small, and come up with ways to stay positive. Shrug it off (especially if it’s really small), or adopt a positivity mantra. Concoct an exit strategy for when you encounter Nellie–you know, the “oops… gotta go,” or the quick change of subject, to redirect the conversation. If you’re really generous, you could help your Nellies see the “err of their ways.”
2) Don’t be other people’s Nellie! We all have bad days. Fortunately, our friends are more than willing to shoulder our bad times and occasional (I’ll say it again–occasional) bitch sessions. But use caution! Just like the unwitting deejay, we could be bombarding them with more negativity than we realize–and who wants to do that to a friend?
As the old adage goes, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself.” Better yet, rid yourself of it. You don’t need it.
Think and speak positively! Your happiness depends on it.
Monday Morning Margarita 